We have finally arrived at the good life. It took a long time and a lot of effort to get here. Alex was beginning to doubt he would ever arrive here. I had faith because I have been here before, I knew WildChild would deliver eventually, we just had to get thru that to-do list first.
I realize many of you reading this are probably in northern climates and it is freezing outside as you sit home thru your second COVID lockdown, so this might not feel very fair to you. If you have been following along you know there are definitely ups and downs to the cruising life, and when its good it is really good. We have finally arrived at the really good part. Today the rollercoaster is up, who knows maybe in a week or two it will go down again but that’s the nature of cruising life.
Philosophy
I feel a bit philosophical this morning and my writing is going to take a tangent. Self reflection. Who am I? Who is this mythical character called Captain Lexi? If you have read my books you understand the true nature of A-Priori reality is endlessly fascinating to me.
Although I am an extremely self aware human being recently I have had the privilege of getting to see my reflection thru the lens of my new crew. Living on a boat is a very tight close way to live with another person. As I am getting to know Alex and learn about him, he too is studying his new roommate. He is getting to know Captain Lexi behind the scenes.
Alex and I are very different people. I like him. He was raised in the light. Good perfect parents, lovely perfect childhood, raised comfortably in a perfect home, captain of the high school Rugby team, handsome and popular. He has existed only in the light and knows nothing of the darkness from whence I spawned. He is in every way a perfect typical Canadian, all sunshine and optimism and positivity and happy hopeful goodness.
I was never raised in this place and I am not reflective of this way of living. This has been remarkably hard for young Alex to adapt to. Sometimes I see in his eyes, his reactions to my internal rollercoaster or the politically incorrect open honest and genuine shit that comes out of my mouth. Sometimes he stares at me like a deer in headlights, his brain trying to figure out how to “handle me”. He often immediately needs to fix me to be more like him and be the “right” way. The confidence and arrogance of youth…. “…my way of seeing the world is the only right way to be… and I should remake everyone around me into my ‘right‘ image…” He makes me sigh sometimes.
Alex has noticed about Captain Lexi….
-She is often very driven and focused like a laser beam to achieve her mission, she works like a machine when she has to
– She is extremely tough, very strong girl, she will push her body to exhaustion and ignore hunger and thirst until she finishes what she is working on, even work until she collapses
-She is politically incorrect and a little socially awkward, very open and direct way of speaking
-She can be negative and worries a lot, always first sees the potential bad before seeing any other good possibility, she needs to me to train her to be more happy positive and optimistic.
-Alex has commented several times now… “Lexi seems obsessed with having spare parts and backup plans for her boat…” This makes me smile a lot, welcome to the cruising life. Our yachts are often in very remote places and have to be very self sufficient, there is never a Wal-Mart around when you need one.
-Lexi is very emotionally sensitive and goes up and down, like far up and then can quickly go far down, like within hours. This shocks my young jedi apprentice. I had my period last week and I warned him in advance I was going to cry sometime today for no particular reason. When it happened it shocked and upset him so much he doubted his safety following me as his Captain. I wonder if all the women in his life have done such a good job hiding their periods from his delicate eyes, but there is no hiding on a boat. It was like he had no idea that a period can affect a woman’s emotions, that it can be uncomfortable for us. He was raised in a very protected bubble indeed.
Alex, much like most men, tries to live in an unemotional place, to suppress his emotions and seems to expect me to do the same. I used to be an unemotional robot in my youth, it was the only way to survive the abuse I was raised in. I know the ground he seeks to live in, I choose not to live there. I am an emotionally sensitive woman and I feel it makes me more alive, more able to truly live feel and experience life. This means feeling fully and completely the ups and downs. When I experience pure joy at the beauty of an ocean sunrise or the deep sorrow of watching another human being suffer, I am fully alive. It is a choice Alex cannot understand, let all the worlds paintings be bland.
Alex was raised a simple hedonist like the rest of you, simple animals, spend your whole life seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. You have gotten so good at it you now avoid the tiniest discomforts. So when Alex sees me sad crying or experiencing discomfort it makes him feel uncomfortable and he immediately needs to fix me to remove his discomfort. I find myself unsure of how to bring him to a more tolerant place of understanding. Let me be me please… and I will let you be you.
Hmmmm….
Life in General Lately
We were just in St. John’s, the capital “big city” here for a full day. I remember being here 6 months ago during the first Covid lockdowns. I wanted to try and find and buy a spear fishing gun. It seems it is a go straight to jail kinda thing down here. British common law worries so much you will shoot a human that people cannot be trusted with spear fishing guns to shoot fish for dinner.
The world is so stupid.
I did manage to buy, because this is legal here, a Hawaiian sling. It is essentially a 5 foot long spear with a little rubber band on the back. Like a sling shot spear. They are very difficult to use, have very short ranges (like 1-3 feet max) and are very clumsy, but other sailors say if you learn to master it they can work. I tried it out yesterday and it will be nearly impossible to get dinner with it, but it is a good shark poker awayer sticky thingy, makes me feel a bit safer diving alone.
Since we were also in the capital city I thought I could go shopping and find some other rarer backup spare parts stuff. It was a successful day for me alone while Alex went around to explore the town on his own. I found spare batteries (LR44’s) for my water meter sample tester, I have needed these for like 8 months now. I found 3-in-1 oil for lubricating my padlocks every week against the incessant salt water rusty evil I live in. I walked alone all the way out to the big grocery store and bought two bags of rare provisions for the boat. I found wonder bread (this stuff lasts weeks on a boat). I found cheesecake, cause you know… what girl doesn’t need cheesecake when she can find it. 🙂 I found some sauces and other food stuffs hard to find.
An interesting side story
It is along walk from the dinghy dock to the big grocery store, about 3km in the sun and the heat. My walk there was fine, of course very hot, but I arrived in good condition to the store. On my walk back though, with two bags full of stuff, I decided to try and catch the local bus. I waiting in the sun at the bus stop for 30 minutes (almost as long as walking would have taken) when I finally gave up on the idea. It is always so hot here, yes even in the winter, and this white girl is not designed for the heat, that I suffer in it.
As I was walking back, near to heat stroke, about 1km into the trek I sat down on the side of the road in some shade to try and get my core body temp down and give my hands a rest. I was planning on doing the long walk in three stages.
These two good Samaritans driving along saw me at the side of the road, said to each other “she doesn’t look like she is doing good” and stopped to offer me a ride. Just pure human kindness for the suffering and plight of another human being. I was delighted at the miracle reprieve to my suffering and gladly accepted the ride down to Heritage Quay. I was overwhelmed with joy and ever so grateful to the wonderful strangers who helped me.
Philosophically though it does help me to remember that there are still good people in the world, that basic human kindness and Christian principals do still exist in the world. Sure hundreds and hundreds of other cars drove by seeing me suffering and did not stop, just as you are unlikely to stop to help a stranger at the side of the road, but these people did stop to offer help, much as I would have done. That us good people do still exist in our selfish world. These wonderful people did more than give me a ride they elevated my soul with their display of human kindness and decency. I spend a lot of time worrying about the bad people who want to rob me or pirates who want to kidnap me or the men who want to hurt me in other ways…. I sometimes forget that there are still good people in the world. Not everyone is selfish and self absorbed.
Thank you very kind strangers.
Time to Sail
Early the next morning (Dec 13th) I roused my young crew out of bed early at the crack of 7am and he stumbled up blurry eyed onto the deck as instructed. The wind forecasts for the sail to Barbuda was light to very light winds probably from the east. Although in total it should only be an easy 30 mile beam reach sail, with mother, there are no guarantees. The earlier we leave the more daylight we had to make the sail. All of the Navionics notes warned a lot about arriving in good light conditions and the shoaling hazards and unmarked reefs.
We started Alex’s third sail in very dead calm conditions as I considered the possibility of aborting due to zero wind. We raised the mainsail while still on the hook and motor sailed out of the long harbour. Even when we got out I worried we still only had 1-3 knots of wind offshore, the motor stayed on. I figured that we could keep motoring to the northern tip of Antigua before I needed to make a go/no-go decision.
As we cleared out the northern end of the island the ever so light trade winds found us and the engine turned off. I stood on deck watching, watching the horizon, watching the clouds, watching for the slight line of color change on the waters surface in the distance that means there is wind disrupting the surface tension ahead, signs of wind in the distance. I had set the autopilot to go straight and asked Alex to stand at the helm and watch it for me so I could stand on deck.
Exciting news… we did find wind.
We had to get clear of all land to our east. Slowly at first 4 miles offshore as we wove around the shallows we began to find our wind. It was a good wind too, 50-70 degrees off the starboard bow, just forward of the beam. It was 5-8 knots of wind at first, light, but for WildChild that is more than enough.
I went back into the cockpit and worked with my young Jedi to setup the sail trim to make WildChild find her 70% efficiency in light winds. Together we played with the sails as I let him see what happens when the sails are too loose or too tight. Teacher and student studying cause and effect. See the ticklers on the genny… what are they telling you? What do you think we should do about it? Rather than issue orders and give him the answers I let him learn how to think about the sails for himself.
Alex is a very smart boy, just the most excellent crew I have ever had. On his third sail he was sailing at a level my other students took ten or twenty sails to reach. Alex is doing amazing putting his detailed classroom theory I gave him together with reality. He connects the dots fast and well. Today he is not pushing so hard for advanced stuff but rather paying attention to the basics in front of him.
As always I do the hard parts of the sailing, the beginning and the end, but this time I am able to take a break in the middle. For the first time I can leave Alex alone at the helm so I can go below and take a break. Conditions for the sail are perfect. Of course even down below the Captain is still supervising the young Jedi. I can hear the boat, feel the boat at all times. WildChild is constantly talking to me and I am waiting to see if Alex can hear it too, does he respond to what the yacht is telling him. I am over-watching our course on my little tablet navionics and I have the NEMA bus wind data displayed down below. Alex is physically alone at the helm but not actually doing everything alone, the teacher watches over her student, lets him make mistakes and lets him think it thru for himself.
Alex does great.
It was about the middle of the sail when the winds picked up for 20 minutes. WildChild, with her huge sails and tall rigged mast, running full sails began to get over powered as the winds climbed up to 13-16 knots. I left Alex alone up there with it as I felt WildChild start putting her port side rail into the water. I let Alex feel it. He loved the speed and excitement of it, young men always do, but I know we are over stressing the rigging for no good reason, I come up on deck.
“Hey Alex… how’s it going…? ” I ask casually while standing in the companionway, life jacket and sailing gloves back on.
“Ohh its getting fun now… we are going fast” he replies with a hint of excitement in his voice.
“Report the helm to me please…” I say as I am analyzing the data in my mind.
“We are 16 over 7.6 and wind angle is 50 degrees close reach starboard tac” he replies as he has been trained to clearly and concisely share the necessary data.
I scan the horizon to see if this is just a temporary short duration gusting event or the approach of a squall. It seems to be sustained. Water rushes up the port side deck towards the cockpit coaming, the yacht is heeled over at around 35 degrees on her port side. WildChild is taking it, she can do it, but it is unnecessarily uncomfortable, unnecessarily stressful on the rigging. I explain to Alex why we are going to reduce the genny, reef the genny, to right the yacht.
He was having fun and loving the thrill of the speed but he does not argue with me. Once I get the Genny reduced to 90% he notices we are still sailing at 6.9 knots but the heel angle has come up 15 degrees, the ride is less uncomfortable. WildChild no longer needs to spill her excess wind off the top of her sails to compensate for being over powered.
“We hardly lost any speed” he comments as he holds fast at the helm. “Its a lot more comfortable now too” he adds. Slowly he is learning.
There were so many shallow shoaling danger warnings for the southern approach to Barbuda on the charts it made me cautious. The sail between Antigua and north to Barbuda is all in shallow water 20-100 feet deep as we cross the top of the underwater mountain between visible peaks of land above the surface. At about ten miles offshore of Barbuda I take over control of the helm as we approach the bumpy shallows. From 60 feet deep to suddenly 30 feet deep right back down to 50 feet deep WildChild sails calmly over the hills.
I need to be wary of the shoals 5 feet deep 5 miles offshore. Codrington shoals are infamously treacherous in the winter ground swell. Shoal means underwater sand hill that moves around with the currents and storms so the charts never really know exactly where it will be today. Three to five meter moving shoal warnings on the charts abound. I keep WildChild’s deep keel well clear of anything less than 30 feet of water.
In the beautiful high sun and clear skies at 2:30pm in the glorious afternoon WildChild finds her way to the west of Palaster reef and tucked into the safety and protection of Coco beach bay and anchors just off the fantastic white sands beach and the 5 star resort. Captain and crew calm happy and in great spirits.
FINALLY WE HAVE ARRIVED IN PARADISE
Alex is spell bound by the beauty of the tropical paradise before him. He keeps commenting “look at that water… look at how clear that water is…. look at the color of the water.. wow” He is amazed by the tropical beauty. He later told me we could see the anchor drop and land on the bottom and watch the chain play out as we reversed.
LIFE IS GOOD AGAIN
I am not sure where you are in your life right now dear reader…. I am sure it is probably cold outside and the news is full of fear for you to drink.
We have no idea what the latest info about Trump is, or anything about China. We hear nothing about the Covid doomsday you are bombarded with.
Why not come back and escape all that with us here on WildChild.
I will keep the blogs coming to give you a brief respite from your world.
Cheers Sailors and sailing fans…
Captain Lexi….
. …………. the joyously happy lately …………..