Hey Sailors and sailor fans…
We are going to disappear from the internet for a little while. No worries I have YouTube episodes scheduled to keep releasing for you until May 7th (I think).
Elena and I are about to begin our 3 day staged jump from Crab Cay Bahamas to Florida to meet Monkey and cut the cord.
We did well riding out the nasty weather here in the Anchorage 2 nights ago. The nasty started to pound us around 3am and it did get very sporty here in the Crab Cay anchorage but the winds only peaked around 38 knots (manageable forces), and not 48 knots (terrifyingly NOT manageable). We did drag anchor but not far.
So now it is Easter Sunday April 21st. While everyone else is enjoying Easter dinner with family we on WildChild are going to start the 3 hop jump back to Florida. We are only about 160nm from there now, which we technically could do in one 36 hour jump, I chose to break it down into 3 smaller jumps, because we need rest.
Elena is still a beginner sailor, with 4 sails under her belt, and she is not ready to handle the helm alone yet, she is not ready for the gulf stream crossing (which is a medium sailor skills kind of thing to do). Therefore I, brave chicken captain Lexi will have to stay at the helm all the time. I do not want to stay at the helm for 36 hours straight.
SOOO….
Elena is still in bed as it is early morning now. Today we have winds on the nose and it is not a very good day for us to go to Great Sail Cay because we will be mostly into the wind. I was originally going to head out earlier this morning (like 6am) but have decided to wait out the morning thermal winds (everyday here about an hour after sunrise as the air warms the winds get stronger and then subside again after about an hour, the same is true every evening from about an hour before sunset to just after sunset, THERMAL WINDS). I think there is no need for us to motor against these stronger thermal winds, best to just wait them out. We leave around 9am.
This morning we will have to motor dead into Irons for about 10 miles to give us a better wind angle by around 11am. Then we can bear off to head a bit WSW and if we are lucky we will get WildChild a good steady wind angle about 40 degrees of wind off the nose which she can happily sail in all day. If the wind holds we can then make our NNE tac around 4pm and sail in the Cay, anchor for the night and rest tonight. Today is only 33 Nautical Miles in a straight line from here to there… but we definitely will not be going in a straight line today. We will have a lot of tacking upwind all day.
We want to be in Great Sail Cay tomorrow because the winds will switch overnight tonight to be in our favor.
Our plan tomorrow morning is to wake up to beautiful and gentle 13 knots of wind to broad reach us on the starboard quarter for a lovely and easy 40 NM run to the edge of the Bahamas bank before nightfall. This will stage us perfectly for the best weather window for the crossing on Tuesday.
We have had a full moon at night for the last few nights so I know it is going to become a dead dark night out here soon (either by tonight or tomorrow night). This worries me.
Because…
Tuesday morning we have to leave off the Bahamas bank out into the Gulf stream around 4am… which will be in pitch black conditions on the ocean. I have sailed in total darkness on the Ocean before and I remember how hard it is and how dangerous it is. You cannot see the waves coming so they throw you around the cockpit because they surprise you and you cannot brace for them. You cannot see the front of your boat… you could be sailing straight into a mountain and you would not see it coming. It is sailing blind… and no fun… very nerve wracking… very tense.
As the sun rises a few hours after we have headed out we should be in a good position for a perfect crossing… maybe…
I have taken into me the advise of a wise older sailor local to this area (Captain Bill) who has warned against ever making any gulf stream crossing IF…. there is ANY North component to the winds you want to use…. because wind against current makes for nasty steep waves.
Yikes… We will have winds East-by-North-East. Our East winds will have some North component to them… but they will not be strong. So I am gambling we do not make Elena seasick in 8 foot steep waves.
I have no worries about WildChild taking the beating because she has done it so many times and has always been faithful to her Captain. She is a good girl… very strong and tough… I (Lexi) have taken nasty beatings from the ocean before and as long as the waves stay below 8 feet I am fine, although I do admit sometimes 6-8 foot waves make me vomit.
Our plan is to make it across back into safe harbor before dark Tuesday night.
I know from hard earned experience that I never want to enter a foreign harbor in the dark… and definitely not in pitch black darkness.
We know where Monkey is now… His boat is on the hard for repairs in a boat yard. This area of the ICW is known for being a bit shallow and we cannot get right to where he is. We will try to anchor on the edge of the turning basin near to him.
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Emotionally I am very worried about this. Not the crossing or the sailing itself, I have already done 5000nm of hard North Atlantic sailing in the fall (brutal hard nasty cold scary). I am worried about what will happen when I see monkey again….
We have been in contact by text message since he left…
I know he is in a bad place… he is going down… and he wants to climb back on board my ship so I can carry him again. He remembers his time here with fondness and longs to come back. I think he is beginning to figure out he cannot achieve his sailing dream with his own (lack of) skills and ability.
He keeps begging me for money to bail him out of his situation.. he put his boat into a boat yard for repair knowing he does not have the money to get it out… he is counting on the bank of Lexi to bail him out… he is going to beg and manipulate hard for me to save him one last time….
It is not my job anymore to carry him or save him from him…. he is a grown up… he has to face the consequences of his own decisions and actions… He had a boat… he beached his boat.. he damaged his boat… he spent $15,000 dollars in the last month… he had money 4 weeks ago… he blew it all… he is flat broke because of him… not my fault… yet he keeps laying it on my doorstep..
My friends have warned me that somehow I became his sugar momma years ago… He wants his sugar momma back…
I am not anybody’s sugar momma… screw that.
He is excited to see me again… he is eagerly looking forward to my return. He misses me… he needs me… he is going to bring on his manipulations strong…
He is going to be as sweet as pie… and I know his secret agenda… I do not want to deal with it…
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Also… I am really very angry with him for forcing me to waste 300NM of sailing miles in the wrong direction to come to him because he was incapable of coming back to the Bahamas as promised. I am pissed off I wasted a month waiting for him to fail. I am pissed off he is refusing to let me sell the freakin scuba gear. I am pissed off he is still clinging to his possession left on WildChild… stupid stuff like rusty old lawn chairs on the deck and towels and plates.
I am pissed off he expects me to just keep storing his shit on WildChild for an unlimited amount of time until he maybe someday in the distant future can come get it at his leisure.
I am pissed off he keeps twisting and twisting and pushing me to help/save him.
I am pissed off I have to deliver his shit 160 miles to him.
I am only really making this crossing because WildChild still NEEDS those solar panels he has on his boat. I cannot buy them in the Bahamas… it will take too long to ship them over… it is faster for me to sail to Florida to get them. I want my $1000 dollars of new stuff off his boat… stuff he promised to deliver and failed miserably.
He is going to withhold them and use them to manipulate me when I get there… there is no card he will not play to save himself… I do not want to deal with that…
He is going to frustrate and anger me… he is going to piss me off… I am going to turn back into the bitch he created in me… and I do not want my soul pushed by him anymore. I am back to being the sweet kind happy loving girl I used to be… I do not want to lose my center to him again…
and he is going to push and push hard… I know it…
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All this pissed off anger with him is not helping me… Brother Ryan has been diligently advising me to put it away… it does not help anything… it is illogical and irrelevant.
So I have been trying to make the best of this situation. Trying to see the positive… this is just more sailing experience for Elena… we still have time to get south before hurricane season… WildChild’s solar panel problem will be solved soon…
And most importantly… the cord will be cut between Monkey and I once and for all…
By next week… I will be free… I will be able to move forward… WildChild can continue on her own journey and there is nothing left Monkey can do to sabotage that…
Sigh…
We will go forward and face this bravely…
Elena will help me stay centered… she is awesome.
She is curious though about how this will go…. her and I both huh…?
Here is to hoping all goes well… both on the sailing trip and the emotional one….
Captain Lexi
……… the apprehensive……