Life just keeps bumbling along, and so do I. My life has been rather boring lately and there is not much to report of the events of my life. However the intellectual waters I live in are always alive. So this blog will partly be an update of my last week, and proceed further into intellectual territory. If you are intelligent enough to follow it… enjoy this ride.

 

 

Boat Projects

As you know… when you live on a yacht… the to-do list of boat projects are never ending. Some of you might be reading this blog because these things interest you. While still in Egmont for the last two weeks I did get a lot done. One little project that had been lingering on my to-do list for a month now was to do maintenance on a deck winch up top that I never use. I had felt it getting tight and knew it was time.

 

 

I have been out here on this girl long enough to know that when you are sailing all happily fast and sporty smashing your way thru ten foot waves and washing your deck, you are also filling your deck winch bearings with salt. That salt will work nasty dark evil magic on those winches just as sure as the sun is hot.

This is a racing winch I never use, and have repurposed as the storm sail furling line winch should I ever need it. It used to be for the main halyard, but I moved the main halyard back to the cockpit years ago.

I am a smart girl and I learned my winches years ago. I know what to do to take them apart and good news is this one did come apart easily enough, not seized yet. WildChild has all old, top of the line, racing hardware on her. All very expensive HARKEN and BARRIENT stuff. What I was amazed to find out though, was that it seems all my BARRIENT winches use the same sized shaft and bearings..!   Wow… like my huge BARRIENT 32‘s use the same bearings as this little BARRIENT 22 winch.

This might be useful knowledge in the future should I ever be hard up for primary winch bearings in a deserted tropical island. They are interchangeable…  cool.  🙂

LEXI WIN’s AGAIN      🙂

 

Other Problems

This is just a small personal thing but a new difficult problem for me to solve. Years ago, I had adult braces on my teeth to straighten my horribly crooked English teeth, the genetic curse of my Irish blood. I might be immune to alcohol but I burn in the sun and had horrible teeth. Six grand and a painful year later, I went kayaking (read the first book in the Women’s Adventure Series) and I fixed the issue.

The legacy is though… that after the dentist straightened my teeth, she kind of bonded a titanium steel bar in the back of the teeth to hold them in place and prevent them from moving around and going back to their former crooked positions. I live with this fine titanium steel behind my teeth constantly rubbing on the tip of my tongue. It took a while to get used to.

 

 

The filling compound that welded it in place has chipped away on the left side of my top teeth now and it is very sharp. It keeps cutting up the tip of my tongue.

Now I am alone far from home with little money and in need of a dentists help. I have no idea how to do this in this foreign land.  Also because of the trauma of my C-PTSD I need a special dentist that is good with patients with PTSD. It is very hard for me to lie back and let anybody hurt me, my body will freak out and react with fight or flight instincts automatically… I have punched doctors before.

 

 

The other problem, that I just solved yesterday, was that my little old Bluetooth speaker finally died on me in Egmont. I loved that little thing. It is hard for people to grasp what my life is like, I really do spend a lot of time alone in silence. My night time sunset ritual of sitting on deck to cool down and blasting my tunes and dancing wild and free is important to me. I find joy and bliss in that moment of communion with God and the universe. The moment of letting my mind shut down and my thoughts go still and just becoming one with the movement of my body to the music.

Yesterday, now back in Prickly bay, I caught a bus and went to the big mall and bought myself two replacement speakers for the price of one. The new one is much bigger and louder than the old one… ha ha ha…. with colourful  pulsing LED’s …  the boomers are gonna hate having me as their neighbour even more…

🙂    ha ha ha ha ha ha    🙂

 

Writing

I did accomplish my two biggest objectives in the last bay. I painted the waterline of my hull in the water, it looks great now. AND…  I finished writing my latest children’s book about life in the rat kingdom. The intellectual ground of that philosophical writing has consumed my mental sphere for the last two weeks. I am very proud of the result.

 

 

You can go click on the BOOKS tab to read the preview if you are curious. All of my children’s series are written as fun stories for children but deep meaning and philosophy explained simply to you grown up children. Yes it’s true, I do perceive most human beings as having child like minds from my perspective, y’all are pretty dumb. It is further true therefore that Captain Lexi is arrogant, I own that happily… so chill out.

Some of you both watch the videos and read the blogs, so….    given the videos are pretty up to date…  you already know that I finished up in the last bay (Egmont) and solo sailed in sporty conditions back to Prickly bay. You can CLICK HERE to watch the video of that sail from a few days ago.

It was only a medium sporty sail, mostly downwind so it was fine, but I did not feel like doing it. I had a feeling of dread about returning to the bad energy in Prickly bay. There is something about this bay, like a dark hidden underbelly, that I am particularly sensitive to. I will try to explain it to you.

 

Charity

Just an update for those people who contributed some money to help Kamu… I will make my first approach to him today, enter his world and try to lay the seeds of assistance. He is squirrely and weird, so he is often hard to understand, his mental world is very different than ours. All donations will go to good use and I will keep you posted on this story. I might make and post a private video of how it turns out.

Thank you everybody

***

 

OKAY…   WARNING again… this is the end of the boring life stuff and the beginning of the more interesting philosophical stuff, smart people only beyond this point please.

 

Manipulative Women

Please understand that I play for both teams, and although men often have to hear me ranting my frustrations about their team, I am fully aware that my team often sucks too. I just see it less.

If you remember a blog months ago about my first arrival in Egmont…

You can CLICK HERE to read the blog back in September 2021

When I first arrived there and anchored the man on the nearby yacht came over to give me a hard time before I was even settled in. Well… a few months later I met that man at the Hog island Jumble sale and we spoke. Jim is a nice guy actually. He explained to me that he was sorry for coming across badly and explained it was his wife who pushed him to come out after me.

YEP….  sneaky woman did not like seeing a chic in a bikini anchor beside her and sent her husband out to be the dick and shoo me away, so she could hide in the shadows and still look good.

Fuckin manipulative women… sneaky and can be amazingly vindictive in super manipulative ways.

Women suck…!     ( a lotta men already know this)

 

Haters and Trolls

A few days ago I got another nasty hateful E-mail from a troll. I do not allow comments on my stuff because I want to keep these nasty people away from my soul but in the last blog I did include my email address so people could choose to donate money to help that guy here.

Some small minded hateful woman just could not help herself and use her access to my email address to attack me.

I Remember Women suck too, here is more evidence. 

 

 

Now I gave her the benefit of the doubt, most trolls are smart enough to hide their identity and this girl did not. Why hateful people read my stuff then feel the need to attack me is just testament to the poor character of average humans. Notice she goes straight for the personal attack with her knife… I am “NO REAL CAPTAIN“.

But I was now curious… so I replied and baited her… before I blocked her.

I was able to figure out that she is here in Grenada, a cruiser, and probably in this bay. She has some personal vested interest in that Whoopsie story, and I do not. I told it only in passing as a distant un-involved observer.

But here is the real interesting part… let us use our empathy and imaginations and becometh Jennifer Sampica …   Let us try to unravel her Paradigm.

To do this we are purely speculating and not in anyway making any statements of fact. We have never met her. We are only playing with her illusion of reality… try to see outside the words if you can….

 

 

She found out thru the rumour mill gossipy grape vine around here about some solo girl with a website and blog down here. Someone directs her to it because there is something about either her CAT or a friends CAT in there. She has personal interest vested in the events. Some personal stake. She is angry… full of hatefulness as a person. She is powerfully opinionated and cock sure of herself. There is only 1 version of reality and she is its keeper, only she knows everything, she is infinitely always right. Disagreement cannot be tolerated.

She disagrees with me, something she read in what I wrote, she needs to attack me. She reads further down in the blog about a man near her who could use help. IGNORES all that…   but takes my email address out of it. She has ZERO interest in helping anybody but herself. Being morally superior, and foolishly sure of herself she seeks me out to attack. She is sure I am a horrible person and a liar and she needs to attack me. She cannot tolerate my different perspective, cannot let it exist.

It is important to her that I know her opinions..?  I have no idea why.

Now she does not know that my dinghy engine was stowed on the rail and my dinghy secured for the next days passage. It would have taken me 20 minutes to even launch my dinghy to offer any help. Jennifer does not know this nor care. The whole incident I saw was over in less than five minutes. Jennifer does not know this nor care. She is so sure of herself… and she is angry… she has to attack someone.

In her old boomer mind she has made a box for me in her head. She is sure I am a terrible person and she seeks confirmation of her cognitive bias (she does not understand any of these concepts yet). I know the boomers around here gossip about me a lot, I own a lot of real estate in their heads. She has probably already “heard about that girl” on WildChild.

She sees the world from a certain point of view… and is 100% confident in her rightness… and sure enough to need to attack anyone she disagrees with. She will confirm her pre-existing illusion of reality and gather evidence to prove herself right.

Notice at the bottom of the reply I included, she writes… “…NOW I KNOW YOU ARE A LIAR…” it could be read more accurately as confirmation bias… she confirmed what she already believed. She does not know that I manipulated her with words to draw her out and reveal more about herself, she is not wrong… I did lie to her. I had a feeling she was near me somewhere and now I know. She revealed personal, local, knowledge of the incident.

People are so stupid and stuff like this is why I hold a dim opinion of boomers. Boomers are so intolerant of other perspectives of reality, always so sure of themselves.

Now this purely speculative act I shared with you is only a tiny sample of the thousands of scenarios one needs to run in their minds to begin to frame a hypothesis based upon the evidence. I am sure there are also a hundred positive ways to view this boomer and forgive her.

BUT… read what she wrote for yourself…. do you feel she is coming from a position of love and kindness…?  or angry ignorant hatred…? These people are trolls… and few of them know it, humans are not very self-aware. Jennifer exists both as a troll in my world and wonderful person in her world simultaneously.

This is the invisible energy that lingers in Prickly bay. It is full of long timers and old boomers, expats hiding from snow. When you get any community of spoiled old sociopaths they get bored and gossipy… they need fuel for their gossip… and I am the perfect target… I am so open and vulnerable. Lexi is difficult NOT to gossip about and attack.

Honestly children… if you don’t like what I write… don’t read it. If you judge me harshly that’s more your problem than mine. You ignore me and I will ignore you. You do not matter… your entire existence is irrelevant and meaningless, so is mine. Do not get so excited about small things.

it is about allowing Multiple Perspectives

Boomers Cannot allow other perspectives

 

 

Too Close

Well last Thursday during that sporty rough solo sail to get back here to Prickly bay I had a feeling of dread in my tummy, it was really pulling down on me hard. I dread the bad energy in this bay. The winds were up around 20 knots and I came in alone to find a place to anchor. Few people can appreciate how hard this solo sailing thing is. You know that I also sail with a heart condition, and by the time I am coming into anchor alone, I am fighting my physiology and physics and trying not to pass out in the process. Solo anchoring is a very difficult stressful and busy time for me and I am very focused.

 

 

I am a smart girl and magnificent Captain despite what Jennifer thinks, and I know my stuff. I put my sails away at the back of the anchorage and slowly made my way in, looking for a place to anchor. It’s always very crowded in here. I do a bunch of complex math calculations in my head as I choose a place to drop my hook. I need to make guesses as to where everyone else’s anchors are. I need to know the prevailing wind direction and compare it to the current wind direction. I need to guess if people are currently facing their anchors or are hanging on the chain which is curving its way around the bottom.

It is a tight spot.. but I know what I am doing. I drop my hook alone and begin the falling off process.

Other sailors will know that when you fall off your yacht will fall off sideways to the current wind and also be affected by any water currents in the bay. You fall off, let her settle, and check your relative position against the other yachts around you. You are patient and you wait. You watch yourself swing and them swing and you keep calculating swing radii in your mind. You are responsible for not bumping the neighbours later, they were here first.

I have done this thousands of times, honestly, I am an expert, I have never bumped anyone at anchor before. I have been out here for years. Despite being a chic in a bikini I know my shit. My boobs do not disqualify me from being intelligent or competent despite the assumptions of so many old boomers.

 

 

Before I am even done falling off the British woman on this yacht is up on deck trying to talk to me. We are too far away for me to really understand what she is saying in the strong winds, but essentially she has decided I am too close to her yacht. She is demanding my attention immediately. I must stop what I am doing right now and pay attention to her. She begins waving her hands and shouting at me.

I completely ignore her… I am busy.

 

 

I am busy making calculations in my mind and I am sure I am not going to end up too close to her. If she can be patient she will see everything will be fine. If I need to move I will.

The old boomer though… is not able to be patient and she cannot understand what I am doing. She is 100% cock sure of herself and is clearly the center of the universe and is demanding my attention immediately. She is demanding control over me right this second and she is getting steamed that I keep ignoring her. Hands on her hips and she stares me down with an icy stare gleaming with daggers.

She cannot comprehend that my world does not revolve around her.

 

 

This is where it gets interesting.

While I am still busy trying not to pass out and get WildChild safely into place in strong winds. I am double checking all my mental calculations to make sure my yacht will be of no danger to theirs.

She sends her husband to get into their dinghy to come get my attention immediately and to deliver her concerns while she watches. She manipulates her man into being the heavy on her behalf..!

Fuckin women are so sneaky and manipulative.

He was actually a nice guy.

NOW…. For those of you who know me… 

how well do you think this went for the boomer?

I ripped him down fast. As he came up beside me on my bow, wanting my attention, spouting off about how “… last week someone anchored too close to him…” blah blah blah…

I stopped him cold… I stood tall… stared him down.. and said very bluntly…

“… the magnitude of your selfishness is monumental…  you are NOT the center of the universe…  and I am rather busy right now… I AM NOT TOO CLOSE TO YOU… You understand that I am alone right now right…?   I don’t have time for you NOW…” boomers severely lack the ability to empathize with others or see the world from other people’s point of view. I helped  bump him out of his position as the center of the universe.

ha ha ha… he was shocked. He backed down immediately and became very kind and friendly. He even offered to help. He did a 180 in 2 seconds…   because his wife sent him in to do a battle he did not actually have the heart for. I felt bad for him… poor guy.

Yesterday as I was dinghying past their vessel they both waved a friendly hello and the woman wanted me to know thru hand gestures that she was now okay with the distance between our boats. My anchor has not moved from the place I dropped it originally..!

I am glad she now approves

 

Multiple Perspectives

I know full well my tolerance for boomers is low. I know I have to work on this. I can see their perspective most of the time, I just dislike the selfishness of it. I live in the floating retirement communities in the Caribbean, the old boomers rule the world everywhere. Their sick paradigm reigns supreme for another decade at least.

If you follow me you remember the story of Clay… I tell it all the time. It is the story of Neural plasticity thru the aging process. Human brains literally go hard and stop learning or taking in new information over time. They become like calculators, full of clever information processing, but closed loop systems unable to adapt and change anymore.

We all become intolerant as we age. A by-product of this neural hardening. I know full well I am becoming intolerant as I age, but I try to keep my mind open and flexible and always learning. Boomers are people over 60, usually closed minded, and they are most intolerant of pluralistic paradigms. Their generation discovered deconstructionism and pluralism and postmodernism in academia decades ago yet so few of them understand it yet.

I am the grandchild of the boomer generation, a reading machine that has not stopped learning and growing for 30 years now. I am the product of their world. I have surpassed them intellectually a 1000 fold. Taken the ball and run with it.

Boomers live in a closed loop world where there can only be a singular version of truth, singular version of reality. There is only 1 true perspective… and it is always their perspective. This human cognitive need for unity and singularity can be seen all the way back to biblical times, the unifying of all the old gods, humans needing monotheism.

The very idea of allowing multiple perspectives to remain equally true is such a threat to the boomers. Honestly it is intellectually difficult ground to live on. I exist as the villian in Jennifer’s world. I exist as the bitch in my British neighbours world. I am also a liar. I am also very honest. I am also good and bad at the same time. I can allow these multiple perspectives of the world around me have a place to exist around me. I can exist as all of these different people I am being created as constantly in the minds of people around me. I can allow multiple perspectives to co-exist simultaneously.

…but I am calm about it… I listen… and I am thoughtful… hmmm… I wonder what their illusion of reality looks like, I ask myself with curiosity. Boomers cannot do this. Jennifer charges into battle so certain of herself…. poor dumb girl.

The boomers are the single most privileged generation in the history of the world and they have been corrupted by it. The only thing that ever matters to boomers is their own comfort, wealth and privilege. They are so self centered and locked into their “everything is great” paradigm their parents spoiled them with, they are immune to the suffering of others, immune to the reality that has changed around them, stuck in the past. Sociopaths are like this. Their need to lean on the paradigm “the world is great” is so strong they are intolerant of the suffering of others, immune to other realities.

How many of you boomers reading this care about how devastated Venezuela is.. or Iraq… or Seria… or Libya… or the environment is… or the economy is or Kamu is…???

Everything is fine as long as the boomers remain comfortably seated at the center of the universe.

Dealing with boomers makes me tired

So certain and self-absorbed

mind you… I understand not all old people are automatically boomers. There are still many wonderful mentally tuned in, open minded, intelligent old people left in the world. I have old friends I respect.

They are just in the minority.

Young people can be dumb too, but they are more tolerant of multiple perspectives. They are less certain of their truths and lean less heavily on them. Young people are simply easier for me to get along with, because they allow me to be me without needing to fix change or control me.

My friend Virginie, from  THIS VIDEO  a few months ago, who is around my age, once said to me, “…I see the world differently than you do… but I can understand why you see it the way you do…“. This is life among young people. I hugged her.

Boomers cannot do this.

I know today this blog was very long.

I do not apologize that my message took a while to convey.

Smart things are seldom simple things.

 

HUGS love and kindness to all of you…

even Jennifer and the other boomers out there…

 

Wild Captain Lexi

 

…   the very thoughtful girl …