Well I have just finished most of a Trans-Atlantic crossing from the Caribbean to the Azores of Portugal as crew on a German boat. We left Antigua June 3rd and arrived in Sao Migual island of the Azores late on June 23rd. The crossing went really well and was super easy compared to the crossings most boats have had this year. I just learned from the TOC that recently on this same crossing at the same time 2 boats turned back with rigging failures, 1 turned back with engine troubles, 1 turned back because it got struck by lightening, and one more had steering failure and has to hand steer with the emergency tiller right now, and two tore their sails.
I realize that for many people completing a trans-atlantic crossing is a life long dream or something to brag about for the rest of their days, as though it is some magnificent feat or something, but really… it is just long boring and suffering. Personally I do not feel like this accomplishment gives me any special bragging rights. I suffered for 3 weeks, tolerated lots of boredom, good for me. There is nothing to see for weeks and weeks but endless sky and water. The view never changes. Everyday the same, sky and water. It is rather monotonous and if I wrote a blog about what it is really like crossing the ocean it would bore you to tears, you would never read it.
I have to be careful in this blog because, as I have mentioned before, the German family I am crewing for has asked to remain anonymous. As usual this blog is about my own personal adventures and life experiences to be shared with friends and family. Those of you close to me will already have a fair idea about the parts I must leave out.
For those of you who know me fairly well, and have placed bets that Captain Lexi is far too dominant to NOT take over this boat… I can proudly say I have proven you all wrong. The most interesting two pieces of this short adventure have been the family with whom I now sail (but I cannot talk about much) and my own internal attempt at limiting my powerful dominant personality into the narrow confines of “just” being good crew. My goal is to not interfere with the natural order of this family and simply follow and help them get where they are going. I am here in their lives as sailing crew to help the boat and not affect them or change them. As you can imagine though living in tight quarters on a yacht with a family is a difficult thing to do.
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The Trip
We were supposed to leave Antigua on Tuesday June 2nd when the customs and immigration offices would be open again (Monday was a national holiday). We failed at that and left late on Wednesday June 3rd.
For me, I have been wearing the jacket of responsibility called “Captain Lexi” for a very long time and I was relived of this terrible burden on Friday May 29th 2020 when I finished putting WildChild away up on the hard. Then I became simply Lady Lexi the crew. What has been kind of funny is that the two small boys on this boat still call me Captain Lexi no matter how much I try to get them to switch to Lady Lexi or just Lexi.
As Captain Lexi if I had made a plan for my yacht and my crew that we would be leaving by noon on June 2nd that would have been exactly what I would have done… but I was no longer the captain and it was interesting for me to follow a new Captain. Despite his German heritage he was far from organized or punctual. On the Tuesday June 2nd I woke up early as per the captains plan the night before and was ready to get the yacht moved around the corner to St. Johns to re-anchor and check out, but nobody else on the boat was ready. The disorganization was surprising for me and I had to stay quiet and follow. In fact they were so disorganized that the departure got put off until the next day Wednesday June 3rd. Even that departure almost did not happen.
As is the Caribbean way the government officials for the customs and immigration did not bother to show up to work on time and we waited almost 3 hours for them to saunter in Wednesday morning. We were told they are only open from 8am until noon and we wanted to leave right away so we were there waiting for them at 7:45am. Other workers showed up, the port authority showed up, but the customs and immigration officers did not bother showing up for work until about 11am. They wear nice uniforms but the word professional is not something in their local dialect.
The exciting news for me is that I was able to eventually, with much convincing, get Elena off WildChild’s crew list. Which then enabled me to get put onto this German boats crew list for clearance for us to leave. Yay.
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Departure
Departure was just a few hours before sunset on Wednesday June 3rd. The German boat set out and began its north east turn to get above the trade winds for our run east. The original conditions that the captain chose to leave in were what I would call medium sailing, 2 meter waves and wind around 20 knots, but this crew could not handle it. Pretty much everyone was sick for the first 24 hours. I never saw the captain vomit but he could not go down below or he would hurl. The mom was down for the count laying on the floor. The kids were vomiting all over the place for days. Even I vomited about 4 times in the first 24 hours. Those of you who have been following me know my heart condition causes peculiar problems with my blood pressure when I am getting tossed around in short period waves and my stomach sphincter lets go. So it is not seasickness for me, just random sudden vomiting until my blood pressure stabilizes itself again. A weird side effect of my Vaso Vagal Syncopy.
I know my body and I have been on the ocean a long time so I know what to do to get thru these rough patches. I do not think this captain understood what to do for his family. The kids were sea sick for the first 3 days. The big risk during this period is dehydration and exhaustion due to starvation. The proper thing to do, especially with kids, is hydrate slowly and in small amounts. With the body getting tossed around so aggressively drinking a big glass of juice or eating a large amount of food only gives the tummy something to rock-n-roll with and causes more vomiting. You have to make sure the sea sick sip a single mouthful of water at a time and do it once every half hour. Same thing with eating, eat only a small amount every hour, and crackers or absorbent soft foods easy to digest are best. Saltine crackers or baby cookies work well.
With Admiral mommy completely out of the picture, like I am saying down for the count for 16 days on the floor, the Captain daddy was taking care of his kids. I watched passively as he kept “feeding” the kids as per normal. Eat and drink large amounts in a single sitting. I watched as the kids vomited everywhere 20 minutes later each time. I remember holding the 3yr old in one arm and the puke bucket in the other and trying to line them up in the rolly waves every time I heard that special guttural sound coming from the kid. Super un-fun stuff and poor kids.
I realize that I am only crew here and trying not to take over and dominate the boat or create any sort of power struggle with the captain but it was hard to watch his children suffering his ignorance. They are his kids and he can do as he pleases with them. On the second day I started to get concerned for the kids medically so I began gently trying to coach the captain daddy into understanding why slow re-hydration was important and I began a game with the kids that on every half hour and on every hour they need to take just one sip of water for Lexi please. I also got captain daddy to stop feeding the kids full large portion meals and he let me get them nibbling on crackers and cookies instead. Eventually I got the kids re-hydrated again.
It was rough watching the children suffer like that. As with most people who get sea sick it took about three days for them to get over it and by the fourth day the ocean had calmed down and the kids bounced back. Personally I am doubtful that parents who subject their kids to this kind of suffering are really doing what is in the best interest of the children, or following their own selfish prerogatives.
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Admiral mommy… and Paradigm Clashes
This is a complicated subject I have to dance carefully around.
I realize that I am an outsider to this family who is now suddenly adopted and on the inside of their family… AND it is their family. They are wonderful people and their marriage and parenting is actually none of my business, I am not here to judge them or fix them. I am not here to make them better or remake them in my image or align them to my culture or paradigm. Really as crew I am only here to help them with their boat, from point A to point B. I am here to help them crew their boat safely across the Atlantic ocean and get back to Europe. I am here to help with the sailing. I understand the parameters of my presence on their boat and the context in which I join them in their lives… but…
… the fact is … I am here with them… I now live with them in tight quarters…
When I first discussed joining them on their voyage as crew I was very clear that I had done a lot of sailing with only 2 people on board and it is very hard to do long term passages with only 2 people because having someone on watch 24/7 and only 2 of you to split the shifts… you start to get very tired and worn down. I agreed to join them because it was very clearly understood that with 3 adult sailors on board it would be okay. Admiral mommy was even trying to get a 4th sailor just before we left. When they failed to get a 4th crew they asked me if I was okay with just the 3 of us to do the crossing, and I agreed with 3 people we could do it but no less.
Paradigms Collide
To ensure we are both using this popular buzz word in the same manner and with the same meaning let us define our terms more clearly.
www.dictionary.com says Paradigm = a (cognitive) framework containing basic assumptions, ways of thinking, and methodology that are commonly accepted by a community (or society).
Crossing the ocean with just the boat and only 3 sailors on board is challenging enough but… they have 2 small children… two high energy and very active boys aged 3 and 6 who will be a lot of extra work. So with 3 adults to care for the boat and the kids was going to be a lot of work. I agreed to help them with the sailing and I am good with kids, I enjoy them, but I am not coming on board to be their nanny. I am not their mom… they already have a mom. I do not want to get involved with their parenting skills strategies or methods, they are their kids and they can do what ever they want with their kids, they can raise them however they want and they do not require my consent or permission.
But these kids are Wild… I mean 6 kids onboard would not have screamed and cried as much as these 2 kids… and for me it was WOW… how do I not intervene and help the parents…?
Something happened to Admiral mommy… and I am not sure what. I had never seen anybody go down like this before. It was not exactly sea sickness… it was something else. She completely failed. She lay on the floor for 2 weeks unable to move or help with much of anything. She laid there doing nothing 22 hours a day. She did not get better like the kids did after 3 or 4 days she stayed down. I became rather concerned that perhaps something medical was happening. Was she sick did we need to give her antibiotics or something? Was she depressed about something? The captain assured me just leave her alone its the only way.
BUT the kids needed her…
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Lexi’s Paradigm
Well here is the thing…
Where I come from, in my culture, in my upbringing, in my understanding of the world… according to my Paradigm…
NEVER LET YOUR TEAM DOWN…!
It is shameful to fail your team. It is shameful to make other people carry your weight. If you are on a team doing something hard you have to fight struggle and do everything in your human power to help your team to the best of your ability. If you have a headache take a Tylenol and suck it up buttercup … step up to the plate and help your team… no quitting… we do not accept quitters on our team… We do not want lazy or useless people on our team. Everybody falls in life but you HAVE to get back up. The one thing in the whole world that I have ZERO respect for is useless people…
Admiral mommy completely failed. She was useless for 2 weeks. She did not take a single shift at the helm forcing two of us to do all the work. This massively increased the burden on the rest of us and the kids really suffered for it too. Admiral mommy also was not taking care of her own kids. I did not agree to only 2 of us to do all the work. If I had known this was going to happen I never would have agreed to come. It was hard and made harder by the total and complete failure of a team member. I do not respect that, but… it was too late.. the situation was what it was and there was no changing it. I got rather frustrated about it though. Hey Lady… get up… get back on your feet… help your family… help your kids… help your husband… help your team… suck it up buttercup and step up… there are very few excuses I will accept for doing anything other than helping…. but I could say nothing, bite your tongue Lexi.
Other possible Paradigms
There are however, always many sides or frames of reference to view any given event with, it seemed my paradigm was not shared by this German family, they had another way of viewing things. On this I can only guess… Maybe admiral mommy knew she was never going to take any shifts at the helm, maybe it was assumed she was just a passenger, so maybe I misunderstood them when they told me they were going to figure out how to rotate the shifts among the 3 of us. Maybe she already knew she could not handle sailing into the wind and assumed I knew too. Maybe she did not know she was going to fail. Maybe she got really very extremely sick and was actually trying her best to struggle thru it bravely. Admiral mommy is a quiet person so really I have no idea what happened or why but I do know it made my life harder and the children really suffered for it.
I must make an aside here and give tremendous credit to the Captain… he did wonderful.. like superman. He never failed once and never let his team down. He summoned tremendous energy and zest for life and stepped up to the plate big time trying to carry most of the extra burden of his fallen admiral. He did 14 hours a day at the helm AND he did most of the child care too. He was great, he played for hours with his kids and fed them and found them things to do and kept them busy as much as he could. I could also tell he was trying to make sure I was okay and I was not carrying too much burden. The captain fully earned my respect.
Admiral mommy is a lovely human being and I like her as a person… but…
Another thing that was difficult for me… I am a feminist… I strongly believe that if men can do it so too can women. That gender is not such a big barrier on ability to learn and do things. Why can’t women be great sailors? Admiral mommy has also been living on a yacht for 3 years just like me. Admiral mommy has taken sailing courses and has a bunch of sailing certificates. She has all the nice sailing gear to wear. She looks like a sailor. So I never saw any reason why Admiral mommy could not help with the sailing, but I was wrong there too. Another Paradigm clash.
Admiral mommy has no idea how to sail at all, she has no idea at all how to look at a sail and figure out how to trim it. She really does not have any idea what to do when at the helm… and sooo… she cannot take any shifts at the helm..! And this shocked me too. Nobody ever came right out and told me this stuff before we left, as it was just such an unconscious part of their paradigm it was somehow assumed within their family and understood without words… but I never understood or knew or agreed to this. We agreed in the beginning in words there would be three of us to share the sailing work. I am a woman and I am a great sailor. I never imagined that Admiral mommies gender created an assumption of inability.
The one area I think… if Admiral mommy answered honestly… that she would tell you that I failed as her crew… was that I was not a very good galley slave or nanny. She would tell you that Lexi did not do the dishes enough or clean up after them enough or cook for them enough or do enough work taking care of their kids. And… on this I did fail them… I refused. As crew I felt very strong pressure to be a good slave and carry Admiral mommies work load for her… and I felt very strongly that admiral mommy was upset I did not do her job for her. She was looking for unpaid servants and Lexi refused to fit her agenda. What can I say… paradigms collide sometimes. I am a WildChild and we make terrible slaves.
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The Sailing Strategy
These Germans fully and freely admitted upfront that they are just cruisers and not by any means hard core sailors or racers. This adventure for them is a fun family adventure on a boat and not much about the sailing. They have mostly done the easy down wind sailing on easy light wind days and have done very little upwind sailing and zero sporty or nasty sailing. I could understand and respect this.
If you have been following me you know that I am almost a purist in my sailing and abhor using the engine anymore than necessary. I have upwind sailed over 10,000 nautical miles and WildChild is a race boat. I am an expert at trimming my sails and planning sailing strategies. More than 2 years out here full time and having made many mistakes sailing the north Atlantic I know exactly how the nasty feels up close and personal.
But I am only the crew…
I am NOT the Captain…
I am here to advise and follow…
I did have a hard time adjusting to just being crew. It was very difficult for me I admit it. I am used to knowing exactly what to do and just doing it. Now I had to know what the right thing to do was and do something different, do as ordered. This is actually harder to do than you might think.
I worked very hard though to keep telling myself that it is not my boat and not my responsibility so who cares how long this journey takes or where we ultimately go anyway. Lexi just follow.
My failure…
So this will get kinda way more technical than most of you will really understand but I will try to keep it simple…
Sailors spend a LOT of time studying the wind. We live on sailboats… we spend our whole lives chasing the winds. We use the wind as our friend and ally. We seek out favourable winds we can use to get us where we want to go. Sailboats like the wind… we want the wind so we can sail, we just do not want too much wind because it brings nasty waves with it.
So to get East to Europe we have to sail AGAINST the prevailing trade winds. So if you look at this predict wind image below I have inserted you can see the general route every single boat making this crossing has taken this year. Lets call it traditional wisdom. You have to sail North by north east to around the latitude of Bermuda to get above the dead zone of high pressure (no wind) that separates the trade winds from the northern lows swirling their way west to east every week. You need to stay low enough in the summer to catch the winds at the bottom of these lows but be careful not to get run over by the middle of one of them. North then curve East.
We knew from the wind forecasts I show you below that the next coming low pressure system on Tuesday June 9th was going to be very stretched out north to south and move like a nasty line across the Atlantic. We knew we did not want to get clobbered by it… but we also knew that the good beam reach or running winds we needed to move were also very close to the bottom edge of it. We needed to stay just south enough of the low as it passed to keep it north of us but we needed to stay north enough we could use its winds to our advantage, chase the good winds.
This was obvious to me. It would be obvious to any good sailing captain and was obvious to every other captain out here…. but my captain was sailing to a different strategy that I didn’t understand. I got frustrated with him on about the 7th day out here as he refused to chase the wind. Captain Lexi had to step down and remember she is only crew Lexi. I had to take a deep breath and go lay down and calm myself down.
What was very hard for me to adapt to and took me a day to readjust myself to follow my captain and not lead him. I had to follow his mental paradigm. He never came outright and said it, he never just told me his way of thinking… I had to figure it out for myself.
We sailed hundreds of miles in the wrong direction because he was terrified of storms. Storm avoidance at all costs was his strategy. Comfort and easiness was his strategy. We added days and days to this journey to stay so far away from storms he did not even want to see them on the horizon. Comfortable and slow in the wrong direction was better than going fast in the right direction. This way of thinking is very foreign to me. It was very hard to adapt to.
I am a sailor. Sailors know that the good winds are just behind and near to storms, they are the prime mover of the winds we need and seek.
As we knew the low pressure system with the storms was approaching us we needed to get into position to take advantage of it. Instead the captain refused and moved away from the good winds. I could not understand this way of thinking. After the middle of the low pressure system moved east above us we needed to turn north into its wake to catch the good winds. The captain again refused and preferred to risk getting caught in the doldrums of dead air too far south than go anywhere near those storms. If you look at the short tac zig zags on our route it was because the captain was terrified to go too far north, terrified of the storms.
At night on watch we could see the clouds way way to the north of us light up with lightening flashes in the dark, like 20 or 30 miles north of us. It was rather pretty to watch on the very edge of the visible distant horizon yet it terrified the captain. He couldn’t sleep that night because of fear of those distant storms. He was sailing afraid.
So if you look at our track and how much it deviated from the track of every other boat that is why.
On June 10th Captain Lexi got very frustrated with her new German Captain and almost lost her cool. He was ordering us to do the wrong thing and refusing to do the right thing and Captain Lexi knew it… and it really boiled her into frustration. WE MUST TURN NORTH NOW TO CATCH THE GOOD WINDS… and helplessly she had to submit to a Captain that didn’t have a clue and absolutely refused to do it. Tears of frustration dripped down her cheeks.
It took me an evening to realign my mental sphere to accept this and follow my captain and not challenge him on his chosen course route or strategy. It did not matter how wrong his sailing strategy was. We were sailing the edge of the highs with no wind rather than sailing the edge of the lows with good wind. He is the captain and it is his boat and his right to motor the doldrums. I just cringed with frustration inside. We motored over 80 hours through dead calm no wind high pressure systems because this captain feared the wind.
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Being good crew
The experience of being crew is very new for me. I used to be a landlady and I heard many horror stories from other landlords about how terrible tenants can be, but sometimes I heard from tenants I was interviewing talk about terrible landlords. So I guess it can go both ways. There are two parties involved in the contract and bad people can be on either side of the coin.
I have heard from other sailors who are crew, without ever owning their own boat, about horrible experiences they have had crewing for bad captains. I once met a lovely French girl crew in Luperon who had just crewed for an old man across the Atlantic to the Caribbean. He knew she was not a great sailor but a young person willing and eager to learn. Halfway across the Atlantic the captain decided to get stinking drunk and he freaked out in a screaming rage at one point and locked himself in his cabin for 24 hours to sleep it off. The poor french girl, Marie was forced to take the helm for that 24 hours of storms by herself and take the insults and abuse the captain let loose.
I know from my previous crews they will tell you that Captain Lexi worries WAAAAY TOO much and it is irritating. Captain Lexi is always worried about and planning for what CAN go wrong, she is not a very relaxed captain. Captain Lexi is also a very good sailor, great sailing teacher and pretty strict as a captain. She is patient forgiving and kind but she expects her crew to step up to the plate pretty quickly.
Now I found myself in the position of following a captain I did not really know. Would he be a good captain? Or a bad captain? I had been friends with him for two weeks before I decided to crew for him so I had a pretty good sense of his character, he is a wonderful human being. However I needed to study and learn him to figure out how to crew for him. This was the interesting part for me, my social education if you will.
This captain is a daddy and a husband first and a captain third. As a human being he is impulsive and creative and inconsistent. In the beginning he let me take the helm and get the boat set up into the wind, he freely conceded he was a novice sailor and was willing to learn. I did what came naturally to me and issued instructions about what we needed to do to trim the boat properly to set our course into the wind and towards our destination. I had the boat moving well in the right direction and sailing efficiently. Then he began to undermine and undo what I had the boat setup sailing to do. He didn’t “feel” right about it. So I stepped aside and let him do whatever he wanted to do with his boat, its his boat right. We veered off the wind sailing almost beam reach and headed straight north. The “Right” thing to do was point and get as much easting as we could. Captain wanted to do the “wrong” thing and sail almost NNWest.
He would tell me not to sail too tight to the wind, it was uncomfortable, so no closer than 50 degrees to apparent wind (this is like 70 deg to true wind, almost beam reach). Then an hour later he would adjust the boat to 40 deg apparent wind like he told me not to do. He would tell me not to sail faster than 7 knots as he didn’t like it, 3 hours later he would be sailing 8 knots. Then later he would let me at the helm but scold me for going 8 knots. I learned it all depends on his feelings or impulsive mood at any given time.
I would be at the helm adjusting the boat direction to match the sail configuration he wanted to use but then he would dislike the direction we were going, but I was not allowed to adjust the sails to go in the direction we needed to go. He would tell me feel free to adjust the sails no problem but when I adjusted the sails without asking his specific permission each time it would make him uncomfortable and he would come up to readjust the sails himself. Other times I adjusted the sails and he was okay with it. Logical consistency was not part of this boat.
So it has been difficult to learn to follow such inconsistency. The right thing to do in any given moment was a feeling of the captains perceptions. I am an engineer and usually I am happy to follow logic and the math and physics when sailing to figure out what the “right” thing to do is. I expect my crew to learn this too and if they follow it I am fine with what they do. This captain follows his own internal impulsive nature and moods and is very inconsistent… so crewing for him is far more art form than mathematical formula, more about reading his mood than the wind.
My education as crew for this boat was not an easy test… but I think I succeeded pretty well. I have asked the captain to honestly write about what Lexi is like to have as crew.
From the German Captain directly in an interview…
Lexi did not take over my boat and I did not think she was too dominant, she was fine. I am a very dominant person myself so I could handle her and did not feel dominated by her at all. Sometimes she can be extroverted but also there were many times she was very introverted like quiet and introspective or reflective a lot. You could tell she was thinking about things inside. On the 7th day when Lexi said she got frustrated with me I did not even really notice, Lexi does not show her emotions very much, she is very calm on the outside.
What I did find very challenging was that she brought her garmin which gave us other sources of information which I found hard to deal with, i wanted the other perspectives but I didn’t let the information influence me at all. It was good she brought this information but it was hard for me to deal with it. Lexi was not pushy about giving the information though.
The good thing about having Lexi onboard as crew is that she brings a lot of technical knowledge with her. I found it comforting to have her abilities onboard, it gave me a warm fuzzy feeling to know she could help with things if they break…. I felt safer with her onboard. Also she is a terrific sailor of this there is no doubt, I could trust her to handle the boat when I was sleeping.
The bad things about Lexi as crew… hmmm.. maybe she could have enjoyed it more, she said sailing bores her. She could have enjoyed it more… I would say she is not very diplomatic in the way she says things. I get her but she is very direct and has a direct way of saying things that can hurt peoples feelings. Her life might be easier if she learns to say things in a nicer way.
She was part of my family and she fit in great with us.. no problems… We have had many people onboard and we enjoy the company and Lexi is one of the most interesting and strong characters we have ever had onboard… she is definitely interesting.
As crew I don’t really think there is anything she can or should do better.. she was great as crew. I would recommend her as crew to any other captain.. of course.
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Weather Routing
The nice advantage that I have enjoyed in most of my sailing as a coastal sailor is that I could always look at the wind forecasts before i chose my weather window to jump out in. Sail for 1-4 days and then tuck back in again before the weather turns to shit, usually.
BUT… doing an Atlantic crossing is different… we are out here so long we are going to take the shit and we cannot see the weather forecasts. We do not have internet access out here. So we rely on second hand information from other people on shore.
This German boat has a voice style old school expensive satellite phone and the captain has his friend back in Germany doing the weather routing for him. I brought my Garmin Reach (I love this thing) with me which allows me to text message with friends and family from anywhere on the planet. I was able to get great information from other captains I know who then could text me weather and routing information. It was fantastic.
I relayed this great and useful information to the captain to help him make good decisions. Sometimes I was able to take this text information and draw it out into a weather picture of the highs and lows around us. It helps create a clearer idea in the minds eye about where to go to find the good winds. High pressure systems swirl winds around clockwise. Low pressure systems swirl much stronger winds around counter clockwise. Need west winds… catch the bottom of a low or the top of a high.
This captain understands none of this stuff. He completely ignored, every time, all of the good weather and routing info I brought him from my wonderful reliable sources onshore. He ignored all advice. He wasn’t listening to anyone but his friend back in Germany. He blindly did whatever his friend told him too. He even admitted he was afraid to deviate from his friends advice for fear of hurting his friends feelings or upsetting him. It became clear to me there is no point in advising this Captain anymore… he is not listening.
Once I understood that I am just crew, I am not involved in where we go at all. If this takes 2 weeks or 2 months its not up to me. I must submit myself and follow this captain wherever he wants to go. It took time for me to understand we are blindly following his German friends routing information no matter what. It was hard for me to accept we are deliberately plotting the most comfortable course and chasing calm high pressure systems with no wind so we can motor in comfort. We motored more than 3 full 24 hour days in dead calm conditions. The paradigm is comfort first not chase the good winds as most sailors do. I adapted.
I adapted to just asking the captain when I came on shift what he wanted me to do on my shift. I asked the captain for permission to make any changes to help him feel more comfortable. I did not decide anything for the boat on my own. If conditions changed I brought the changes to the captain and asked him what he wanted to do about it. I did not tell him the answers but helped him come up with the ideas as if they were his own. I became great crew for this captain and this boat.
In the end this crossing actually turned out rather well. We did it in 20 easy days and only once even saw any sporty conditions. The second last day we had the boats best 24hr distance run ever with over 210 nautical miles. That second last night on the helm scared even me. I always do the first part of the night shifts and on June 21st all of my sources were telling me to be cautious that there were strong winds around at sustained 25+ knots coming in the dark. The captain of course ignored this caution and went to bed with too much sail out for the conditions we were about to get that night.
I maintained course and sail configuration the captain wanted and I did as instructed. The night was no moon pitch black and overcast with clouds. Dark was so dark I usually could not distinguish the horizon from the ocean. This boat sails blind with no chart plotter at the helm, it is below down at the nav desk. We sailed that night in total darkness completely blind near land with too much sail out in sustained 25 knots of wind moving between 8-10 knots most of the time. We were sailing super fast and super blind on faith alone.
I could not see when the storms were coming and could not see when the gusts were coming. The boat was on a beam reach and vibrating it was moving so fast. If there was anything out there not on AIS in our path we were going to hit it hard, but you have to not think about that. I prayed there were no fishing vessels out here tonight near the Azores islands. I dumped the genny each time we got hit with gusts so we would come back up. I visually checked often for lights in the darkness indicating a possible vessel. Imagine I took you out into a big field and blind folded you and told you to run as fast as you can, trust me there are probably no trees out there. It takes much bravery and courage to do this. I felt nervous tension most of the night at the helm.
Mind you… at the helm looks more like this on this German boat.
I think in the end much credit actually has to be given to the German friend weather router. He deviated from all traditional wisdom and understanding but in the end you cannot argue with the results. We had an easy 20 day crossing… and that was this captains goal.
Paradigm Shifting
So in my transition from Captain Lexi the dominant boss sailor chic in charge of and responsible for everything I slowly evolved into crew Lexi by the end of these three weeks. My education was really about paradigm shifting, adapting to strange and foreign ways of thinking and doing. I HAD TO CHANGE ME to fit with them.
Why should a boat not be messy all the time? Why does it need to be clean? Why eat dinner at dinner time? Why not eat the one meal a day at 11am one day and 9pm the next day… or not at all in a day? Who says there even needs to be meals on a passage? Why not sail into the darkness with the spinnaker pole restraining the genny on a close reach with storms around? Something I used to consider too risky. Why do we even need to stay awake on night watches? This Captain is fine with sleeping on watch for 20-30 minutes at a time. Why do we need a chart plotter at the helm? I used to think “watching ahead” in the dark electronically was a good thing.. but not here. Why not live with the screaming crying random chaos of disorganization and enjoy the freedom of a “what ever” way of thinking… it’s all good.
Why use your boom vang ever? I used to think it was essential but this captain NEVER adjusts it or even knows what it is for. Who says we need to adjust the genny cars? I used to think this was an important part of sailing but not on this boat. Why use the electric winches to tighten the genny sheets? Clearly you put the boat into irons to flop the genny so you can tighten the sheet without putting any strain on the winch, the winch is more of a cleat. Assumptions and understandings I had developed while sailing are not truths on this boat.
If the boat breaks or we tear a sail… its not the crews fault or responsibility, I will not have to pay for the damages, not my money and really… therefore not my worry. Why not avoid the wind and motor thru the high pressure systems? Why bother with the sails? Do I care if we sail into a storm with too much sail out…? Just smile be fun and be nice and be friendly and be easy to get along with. Do as your told crew… smile and follow the captains lead.
Slowly and with much effort on my part I have been shifting my internal paradigm to learn this boats way of things. What is right and wrong while sailing has been turned upside down and I have adapted. Mostly as crew for this German boat I stay quiet and watch and adapt… but I have adapted to a radical new way of sailing sloppy.
We motored in before sunset on Tuesday June 23rd to the marina in Punta Delgata in Sao Miguel island on the east side of the Azores island chain. Check-in was fast and easy.
Food and sleep now…
All good…
Crew Lexi …
. ….. the still heart broken ……